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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Reverb-10 Community

December 7- Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

    This is actually a really hard post for me to write.
 In November 2009, I became a mom. I can now say that I have joined millions and millions that know what it is like to love this little amazing creature beyond words. Motherhood has introduced me to a whole new level of love. I can also say that I have joined millions and millions who make the choice to stay at home with their children. I know that I am (and feel) incredibly fortunate to stay at home with my daughter and watch her as she grows. (It truly does happen so fast.)
  I worked in the local school district for 5 years prior to becoming a mommy. Due to staff shifts and budget cuts, in 2008 the school district started "letting people go" and transferring staff members to other schools. Being as it was only my 2nd year at this particular school, hence "low man on the totem pole", the week before I found out that I was pregnant, I was told that I would have to leave my job.
     I loved my job and I believe I was good at it. As heartbroken and surprised at this news as I was, a week later, I truly felt that everything happens for a reason. Losing my job opened to door to me staying home. I went to college for 4 years. I have taken the MAT to get into Graduate School. I worked for 10 years prior to having a child. But, for as long as I can remember, I wanted to be home with my child (or children) for the first few years of their life.  
      So what exactly am I getting at? 
  Despite joining this "new" sisterhood and realizing a dream of watching my child grow up, I feel like my "sense" of community has slowly diminished in the last year.  I don't leave the house everyday to go to work. I don't come in contact with half the amount of people that I did while working on a daily basis. My life changed drastically and it seems like everyone around me did as well.People seem to have become more dissociated. 
    At the age of 29, I still have many single friends or childless couples. The ones that do have children are very busy or don't make time for others outside their family. The ones who are childless, don't invite us to do things as often or anymore at all. And sadly, I'm finding that in a world where there is more and more tools for communication, people are getting worse at it. They don't call back, respond to texts or reply to emails. Where are the "thank you" notes for gifts and the RSVP's for parties?  I like to think that I'm in good company, but sometimes, I'm not so sure. 
   The term community is by one definition:
    A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals

And I'm just not feeling it this year
I'm still Kim, despite adding "Ma-Ma" to my list of names. I still love to laugh and use my mind to create and be challenged. But, maybe it's time for some rearranging in my world and in 2011 my "feeling of fellowship with others" will be restored.

I have hope...

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